What Role Do You Play In The Drama Triangle?

Stephen Karpman developed the Drama Triangle to explain how we continue to re-enact painful themes throughout our life.

Every person has a typical starting role or way that they enter the triangle. This role is usually formed in childhood.

I am your CLASSIC rescuer.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Once we’re in the triangle, we rotate through all of the positions. This can happen in minutes, usually several times a day. It happens in our relationships and also in our own heads.⠀⠀⠀

We always end up feeling like the victim in this triangle, no matter where we start.

If you start as a Rescuer, you probably see yourself as a helper. You need someone to rescue to feel important. You probably struggle to see yourself as a victim because you have all the answers. Likely grew up in a family where your needs were ignored or you had to care for others. Your biggest fear is that you will end up alone or won’t be useful.

If you start as a Persecutor, you are usually in denial about your behavior. When people point it out to you..you become defensive. You may argue about “why” you did something hurtful and how it’s necessary. You may have been abused as a child or experience a lot of shame. Persecutors often hide their pain by becoming detached. You believe the world is out to get you and you must protect yourself.

If you start as a Victim, you likely believe you can’t take care of yourself. You usually feel like someone needs to help you or you can’t handle life. Victims feel that they are damaged or fragile. You are afraid you won’t make it in life, so you’re always on the lookout for someone that can “save”you.

What role do you see yourself in?