Are You Getting Emotionally Flooded?

We’ve all experienced this.

You get in argument with your partner and all the sudden you’re overwhelmed, completely unsure how you got here.

This is known as emotional flooding.

Emotional flooding often happens when partners are in a disagreement or taking about something particularly charged. Psychologist John Gottman explains that emotional hijacking is our nervous system in overdrive.

Something happens during your interaction with your partner that sets off your internal threat-detection system. Your sympathetic nervous system then jumps into action, and prepares you to either run or fight.

In this state, you end up losing a lot of your capacity for rational thought. What you are experiencing is a decrease of activity in your pre-frontal cortex, your center for cognition and rational thinking.

Some people may begin to argue louder or become agitated. While others will shut down completely and try to flee. Neither of these reactions if effective in the long run.

If you start to experience these symptoms, it’s time to take a break! Say to your partner, “I’m feeling flooded right now. I need to come back to this later.”

It’s totally fine to set a time to discuss it in an hour or the next day. Just make sure you go back to it. If you become flooded again, it’s ok! This is your body sending you a signal that this is important and something that needs to be discussed.

Take a step away. Breathe. Regulate your nervous system.

If you’re interested in couple’s therapy, please email us at info@collabcounseling.com.