How To Motivate Someone To Make A Change
Many of my clients are trying to help motivate someone to make a change. Some of these healthy changes include staying sober, going to the doctor more, or coming to couples therapy.
Decades of research have shown that individuals move through a series of stages—pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance, when they are adopting healthy behaviors or stopping unhealthy ones.
You can use this model to help motivate someone to make a healthy change in their life and move them willingly from refusal to change.
How to Motivate Someone to Make a Change
Pre-contemplation stage: Usually during this stage the individual has no intention to change their behavior; at least not in the near future. People in this stage are often characterized as resistant or unmotivated and tend to avoid information, discussion, or thought with regard to the targeted health behavior.
What to do: Provide information and feedback to raise the person’s awareness of the problem and the possibility of change. Do not give prescriptive advice.
Questions to ask:
Who do you think needs to make the changes in this situation? Why?
Is there anything about your life that you would like to change?
If you were to change anything what would it be?
Contemplation: This is the procrastination stage. Individuals in this stage will usually make it clear they want to change within the next 6 months. They are more aware of the benefits of changing, but remain very aware of the costs.
What to do: Help the person move towards change and see the benefits of changing and the consequences of not changing.
Questions to ask:
If you’re not satisfied with the way things have been and wanted to change one thing, what would it be?
What are some things you don’t like about your life right now? What do you think is causing them?
What do you think will happen if you don’t change?
Preparation: Individuals in this stage will take steps to change, usually within the next month. This is viewed as a transition stage where individuals will likely move into action in the next 30 days.
What to do: Help the person find a change strategy that is realistic, acceptable, appropriate, and effective.
Questions to ask:
What are the steps we can take to get to this goal?
Do you have a plan? If so, what does it look like?
How will we know when we are successful?
Action: You will see the individual making real changes to their lifestyle and moving towards this goal. This stage lasts less than 6 months.
What to do: Support and be an advocate, help them accomplish the steps needed for change.
Questions to ask:
What step are you working on now, can I help?
How are you doing with this change?
What things have been easy for you to change? what has been more challenging?
Maintenance: People in this stage have achieved the highest level of self efficacy. They work to prevent relapse and are maintaining a program that allows them to continue meeting their goals.
What to do: Help the person identify the possibility of relapse and identify strategies they can use to prevent it.
Questions to ask:
What can we do to keep the change going?
What is helping you be successful?
What are you doing to keep things from going back to how they were?