How To Accept Your Reality

The world is a pretty challenging place to be right now.

COVID-19 has kept us locked in our homes and cases continue to rise. Tons of people have lost their jobs and it seems as if there is no end in sight. Most of us would change our situation if we could, but what happens when we can’t?

When things get painful, there are 4 ways people typically respond.

1. Accept the reality of the situation and do what they can to change or help the situation.
2. Try to understand the situation and look for the silver-lining or lessons.
3. Recognize reality without approving the experience.
4. Continue to suffer and exacerbate already difficult and stressful situations.

Radical acceptance can help you.

Radical Acceptance is a well known concept in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This type of psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy) utilizes a cognitive-behavioral approach and emphasizes the psychosocial aspects of treatment. DBT focuses on something called distress tolerance instead of trying to find solutions to pain or eliminate all pain. Distress tolerance skills help us accept ourselves and our current situation without judgment. Distress tolerance skills help you tolerate and survive crises and accept life as it is in the moment.

Radical acceptance of reality is not approval of reality.

When you hear radical acceptance you might think, “but I don’t want to accept this?!” Accepting your reality does not mean you approve it or that you allow it to continue. It simply means that you accept what is right in front of you exactly as it is. When you accept what is, you can make a plan for the future, decide to change your situation, or learn how to tolerate it. Acceptance allows us to decide what we want to do next and if we’re willing to accept or tolerate life as it is. Without acceptance, we may stay stuck in denial. Change is impossible when we haven’t fully accepted or recognized our starting point or our reality.

How To Practice Radical Acceptance

  • Observe how you are fighting against your feeling or reality.

  • Remind yourself that what happened cannot be changed.

  • Acknowledge what led to this moment.

  • Pay attention to your breath, posture, and how your body feels.

  • Embrace difficult feelings that you’re experiencing.

  • Remind yourself that pain and happiness can exist at the same time and change moment to moment

Radical acceptance begins with you. Try to start with accepting small moments and events in your life. Over time, these skills will become easier to implement.

Miami DBT Therapist

If you’re looking for a therapist who can help you achieve radical acceptance, we’d love to help you. You can check out some of our member therapists at The Collaborative or complete the form below.

Whitney Goodman