6 Tips For Communicating With A Chronically Ill Loved One
Communicating with a chronically ill loved one can be difficult.
Dealing with a chronic illness is extremely taxing on both the patient and the caregiver. This can cause communication between caregivers and patients to become strained and at times, painful. Many caregivers spend hours trying to craft the perfect sentence to take away their loved one’s pain, only to be met with rejection.
When tension is high or the mood is low, it is natural that there will be some strain in communication. But, there are some strategies you can use when communicating with a chronically ill loved one.
6 Tips for Communicating with a Chronically Ill Loved One
You do not always have to sound like a Hallmark card. In fact, it often drives patients crazy when you do. Sometimes just being there and saying nothing is enough. Sometimes it’s everything. Saying something like, “I don’t know what to say. I am here for you” can make all the difference.
Help is always welcome. Try to offer concrete assistance like, “I am picking up dinner for you, what would you like?” Or just bring them dinner! Asking someone who is not well how you can help them can actually be extremely overwhelming. Chances are they have no idea how you can help or are too tired to list the ways.
Sit in the pain with them. Chronic illness can be extremely isolating for the patient and the caregiver. You are both grieving a major loss and sitting in this pain together is cathartic. You have permission to experience and discuss your losses; it does not mean you aren’t being positive or are letting the disease win.
It is not your responsibility to heal them. Remember that there will be problems you cannot fix and some days the disease will get the best of all of you. You can be honest about the limitations of your knowledge with your loved one and direct them to someone else who may be able to help, whether it is a doctor, therapist, or friend.
Taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to communicate with your loved one and hep them. Self care is not selfish! When you need a break from caregiving activities, make yourself heard. You can phrase it in a kind manner, like “I am very tired right now. I’d love to help you with this tomorrow.” Modeling positive self-care is a great way to encourage your care-receiver to care for themselves.
You are allowed to say no. This may be a controversial thought, but being a caregiver does not mean you have to give up your entire life for another human. You are allowed to set boundaries and hire or develop alternate support in the community. Saying no does not make you a bad spouse, sibling, friend, daughter, son, or caregiver. It makes you human.