How To Rewrite Your Life Story

We all have a story about who we are and why. Often we have several.

These stories express what we believe we can do and who we believe we can be. Usually we are taught these stories as children, through experience and spoken word. They define who we *think* we are.

Stories can be positive or negative. You may say things like, “I’m great at math” or “Kids love me!”

Or your inner dialogue screams, “people can’t be trusted” or “I’m terrible with money.”

These stories become the defining narratives of our life.

We see them as absolutes. They confirm that is just who we are and inform us that there is no room for change. Often we didn’t even write these stories! Our parents, teachers, friends, or other family members did.

Regardless, the stories we tell serve us in some way. There is a reason we keep replaying them over and over.

They can always be changed.

Start rewriting your story.

1. Create a “negative timeline” of your life.
Draw a line down a piece of paper and document the dates and important details of situations throughout your life. Respond with compassion when you see how much you have endured. Notice what outside influences have contributed to your life.

2. Create a “positive timeline” of your life.
Draw a line down another piece of paper. Document the positive events that occurred during the same time period. Notice moments when you were successful or competent.

3. Visualize how both the “negative” and “positive” can coexist.

4. Ask, how does this story serve me?

5. Rewrite your story slowly and incrementally.
Create a story that you can grow into. If you are someone that “bad things happen to,” become someone that “can ask for help when bad things happen.”

5. Find your motivation.
Look for motivation in your life timeline. Find the situations that really empower you and push you forward.

6. Commit to flexible thinking.
Avoid using words like “always” and “never” when describing your story. Remember that you can change how you view things at any time.

It can be helpful to practice this exercise with a therapist, especially if you have experienced trauma. Any of our CCC therapists are ready to help. Contact us today.

Whitney Goodman