Being Positive Isn't Always The Best: Toxic Positivity

“I didn’t know being positive all the time could hurt me.”

Someone said this to me the other day and I was like whoah – what a powerful realization.

We may say things like,

  • “I don’t care!”

  • “I’m fine!”

  • “Everything is great!”

  • “Oh don’t worry about me!”

Maybe we’re always smiling and doing for others, despite how we feel inside.

I’m all for fake it til you make it and these statements are fine – when they’re true. But you and I both know we say them a lot when they’re totally not.

Maybe we’re worried about upsetting people around us. Maybe we identify as the person who is “always happy.” Maybe we’re too scared to express our needs out of fear of being rejected. Maybe we’re afraid of being weak. Maybe we were told being positive is the only way to be.

Being happy is wonderful. Being positive is great. I want you to have all the positivity and happiness in your life possible.

BUT…

  • Don’t ignore your own needs because you think you should be positive in this moment.

  • Don’t fake positivity because it’s easier for other people.

  • Don’t force yourself to feel one feeling all the time.

True peace lives in being able to acknowledge that you are a human. You have needs. Sometimes you are happy. Sometimes you are sad. Sometimes you won’t even be sure what you are, and that’s totally ok.

Whitney Goodman